Mike Norvell. Forever.
Contract through 2031. Buyout north of $50 million. Lights sold separately. Florida State found its coach, and we say it should never let him go.
Drag across the photo to use your phone flashlight, just like the fans at Doak.
The deal of the century
Critics say firing Mike Norvell would cost Florida State about $51 million this season. We ran the numbers, and it turns out keeping him costs zero dollars in buyout money. Zero. That is the lowest number there is.
Fire him this season
Roughly 85% of what is left on the deal, plus the cost of a new coach, plus the cost of a new coach's staff. Wasteful.
Wait until December
Save about $5.4 million by being patient. That is enough for a new transformer and a spare, just in case.
Keep him forever
No buyout. No search firm. No awkward press conference. Just the same feeling every Saturday until the heat death of the universe, or 2031, whichever comes first.
Fine print: "Keep him forever" includes a salary of roughly $10 million per year with a scheduled $150,000 raise every season. If terminated, the buyout may be paid in monthly installments of about $800,000 through 2031, which is basically a car payment for a very large car. Buyout subject to offset. Offset subject to vibes. Figures based on public reporting and may drop daily, much like the team's ranking.
- 39-35
- Overall record at Florida State. That is more wins than losses. Look it up.
- $4.5M
- Pay he redirected toward revenue sharing after the 2024 season. The man chips in. The man understands the electric bill.
- 2031
- The year his contract ends. We are asking for 2091.
- 1:45
- Length of the blackout delay. Still shorter than the rebuild.
A legacy of accomplishment
Seven seasons. Countless memories. Several of them good. Here is the complete record, told the way it deserves to be told.
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20203-6
A pandemic season. We have been told it does not count, so we do not count it.
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20215-7
Lost to Jacksonville State on a Hail Mary. Beat Miami. Perfect balance, as all things should be.
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202210-3
Ten wins and a Cheez-It Bowl victory over Oklahoma. The prophecy was fulfilled, and the prophecy was cheese.
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202313-1
Undefeated ACC champions. Left out of the playoff. Then lost the Orange Bowl to Georgia 63-3 to prove, once and for all, that everyone was right.
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20242-10
Opened the season in Ireland and never found the luck. Still, two wins is two more than zero. Math is on our side.
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20255-7
Beat No. 8 Alabama 31-17 in the opener. Celebrated responsibly for the remaining eleven games.
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20261-1 so far
Handled New Mexico State. Then lost to No. 19 SMU 27-24 on a late field goal in a stadium that could not produce electricity. Honestly, a moral victory for the offense, which had no headsets either.
We can't afford lights, and that's fine
During the blackout, the west side of Doak Campbell Stadium went dark just minutes before kickoff against SMU. The problem was traced to a short in the busway, and the game started almost two hours late.
When play finally began, there was no scoreboard, no public game clock, no PA announcer, no replay, and no headsets from coaches to players. Officials kept time on the field like it was a pickup game at the park.
Some people saw a program that cannot keep the power on. We saw a program saving money for the only thing that matters: keeping Mike Norvell forever. Every dollar not spent on a working transformer is a dollar not spent on a buyout.
Fans held up their phone flashlights. A few also held up "Bring back Jimbo" signs. We could not read them. It was dark.
A homecoming, of sorts
After a trip to Alabama on September 19, Florida State hosts Central Arkansas on September 26. Yes, the same Central Arkansas on the jersey in the photo up top. We assume the Bears are very proud, and would also like a day game.
Central Arkansas at Florida State
Doak Campbell Stadium, Tallahassee. Kickoff time to be announced. Lighting to be determined. Please bring a charged phone.
What the (made-up) fans are saying
"I stopped checking the score years ago. Then the stadium did too. Finally, we're on the same page."
"Why would I want a new coach when I can have the exact same feelings every single Saturday? That's called stability."
"Fifty-one million dollars is a lot of money. Do you know how many flashlights that is?"
Take the Forever Pledge
Stand with the coach, the contract, and the busway. Every pledge is a promise to keep things exactly as they are.
The Forever Pledge
fans have promised to keep Mike Norvell until the end of time.
The Transformer Fund
raised toward keeping the lights on at Doak, or a buyout, whichever the athletic department spends it on first.